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You never see it coming, but one day you turn 32. You are not having your dream job. You are not driving your dream car. And of course, you did not marry your campus crush. You met her last in the Capital Centre parking lot, so expectant, must have delivered twins the following day.

So now, you are 32, going 33, facing so many uncertainties and anxieties. Some normal, some self-imposed, and some inevitable. So, what worries the mind of a typical 32-year-old male in Nairobi.

  1. Did I really marry the right woman?
  2. If you are in a come-we-stay marriage, what dowry is she worth?
  3. Should I pursue a master’s or that PhD?
  4. Where should I build a home first, in the city or in the village whereby everyone will laugh at me that I have wasted good money that should have been invested elsewhere. But what business.
  5. Can I experiment with farming? Where, when, what, and how? You know, Caleb does that, and he seems to be making good chumes. 
  6. Will the wife cheat with the boss for that promotion?
  7. Will the bank (Equity) repossess their car, no way I can honour the loan…
  8. How daft was I to commit my salary to a mortgage?
  9. Is my wife/girlfriend bi? Damn, she hangs out with that girl too much.
  10. How will I deal with this potbelly that girls are beginning to loathe?
  11. The persistent urge to pee, what does it signify? Diabetes, is that you?
  12. The young intern in office, is it worth chasing after? She looks quite a freak; do I have the energy?
  13.  Can I satisfy her?
  14. Can I use a pill to enhance my bedroom performance, you know?
  15. Will I ever drive my dream car?
  16. If I had 2 million to invest which is the best investment? Certainly not land. Not bitcoin either. Not savings account either.
  17. Will my early-20s baby mother come to sue me for child support?
  18. Should I buy the third mzinga to prove my worth to my peers?
  19. If I changed neighborhoods, to adjust with the recession, what will my peers think of me?
  20. If I die, what investment will I leave my family and children?
  21. Should I marry a second wife?
  22. Should I keep a clande?
  23. Is there anything wrong to procure the services of a prostitute?
  24. The side dish is pregnant and wants to keep the ball, what is the best way to deal with it? She wants my money, what to do?
  25. This nice girl whose number I took wants some Sh 3,000, to send or not to send? Is it morally wrong to demand the payment in kind? 
  26. Can I tell my boss to fuck off? S/he too much on my nerves?
  27. We are being laid off at work, what alternatives do I have?
  28. Dad or mum is sick, how shall we pay the medical bill? Or if nursing a lifestyle disease, how do you pay off the bills. 
  29. Why do I feel like I'm not a grown-up. 
  30. Why am I balding so fast? Where is my hair going? Will I still attract the girls. 
  31. Why do I feel like I have underachieved?
  32. Why am I so afraid. 

 

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