Honestly, I hate baby showers to death. I have never wrapped my head around the idea of this lavish show of fake love and goodwill for a soon-to-be mom.

I hate baby showers so much that I unfriend any woman who brings up that baby shower shit.

For starters, baby showers are full of oestrogen. No men around, to have a moderating effect. But really, how does a sane woman wear a nice dress just to go and hung with ladies. What a total waste of a good dress and make up if you ask me!

The BFF battalion(who are basically mean b#tches)never care about the new mom to be. All they do is laugh and take selfies. They do care if the colour of their dress matches with their shoes. They smile a lot and pretend to be happy when some of them are sharing nudes with their friend’s hubby. They are always green with jealousy that their not so good-looking friend is married and expecting a child.

Unless the baby shower is attended by family members, the one arranged by friends is as fake as the wigs and weaves the women are wearing for the occasion. At least family can stand by you. Your sister or cousin is more likely to take your shit and stand by you, unlike the fake ladies one calls friends.

But friends!

In the event a friend loses her job, such friends are never there. Those ladies who paint their nails for the prize of a clean kidney, fizzle into thin air when you want genuine help. If one of the friends who always throws parties like manna from heaven loses her job and wanted help, she will have to turn to God. Many girls cannot lend their friends but will spoil her on a baby shower, mostly with cheap pampers.

I could be wrong, but I tend to think that friendships should be more than a superficial show of closeness. And that is what baby showers display all the time. True friendships transcend those long table dinners dressed like Housewives of Atlanta.

If the friend to give birth has a complicated delivery, few of her friends will show up to lend a hand. Even fewer would be home to stay with her in trying moments.

I challenge the glorious ladies in fake weaves, fake nails, and fake friendship to lend their friends a huge sum of money (which they have) because their friend is in need. When I see such heartily show of love and true concern, I will apologise for hating baby showers.

But for now, I stand at the town square and tell all and sundry that baby showers are a sham.

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